WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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