Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
