You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
