He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My legs feel like baby dolphins
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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