So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
