I wish I could teleport
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
