Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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