im drinking this country out of the recession.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
