Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
