do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
