She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
