my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
