escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
