Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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