Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
