My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
