HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
