the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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