I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
