glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
