So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
