Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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