Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
