i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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