I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so let's talk penis.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
