the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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