Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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