Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
