My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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