Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize