just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
