I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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