make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dignity is for republicans.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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