I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
