I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
