Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
