Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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