So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
