I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There's always time for handjobs
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
