I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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