Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
