I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
