This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
