a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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