We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He passed out mid-signature
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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