I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
