hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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