Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
