"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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