Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
