Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
