i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
