please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
