Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize