I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
