She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
