from now on my penis is your penis
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
