with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
