I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
