Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
