Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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