I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
