I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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