having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
