For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i came on her dog
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
