They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
