We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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