Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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