i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
zippers are such a cool invention
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
