I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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