3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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