Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't deserve a penis
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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